"Professor Gorakski?"
"Speaking."
"This is Kaplan, president of Kaplan & Borman Insurance company. Would you make an investigation for us? Good. The Sommerfeld Manufacturing company, who recently took out a large amount of fire insurance with us, have entered an enormous claim--a large stock of men's suits. We haven't anything on them, so far, but I'm suspicious! Will you handle it? That's splendid."
"I'll be at your office at ten in the morning," Gorakski assured him before hanging up the receiver.

Professor Gorakski was perusing some police records from 1935 trying to locate good material for his next lecture. He always enjoyed reports written by Secretary Kneser, as they included plenty of details. He almost felt as if he were there. The case of Madame Enders was very complete.
"I'm tellin' yuh, The Hawk ain't been around here for three days," said Bettye Enders, owner of a disreputable boarding house.
"All right!" thundered Inspector Moss. "Let's take a look at his room."
"Can't. He had a special lock put on his door and I ain't got a key."
"Well, I'll get in!"

For a long two minutes Professor Gorakski stood looking down at the body of Jack Writz, internationally known turfman, lying on the floor of the stall. Near his hand was a half smoked cigarette.

His face had been terribly disfigured by the mark of a horseshoe; the round part had made a deep impression in the skull, the heels had torn away part of his jaw.

Pocketing the cigarette Gorakski walked to the stall which now housed the pride of the Writz stables, Doctor C.

"Bad tempered bit of flesh he is, sir, but I never thought he'd kick the master," said trainer Frank.

Here's an interesting problem. Do you need to stretch your mathematical brain cells or your logical brain cells for this one?

Before a shrine in southern France, a peasant knelt and prayed. He asked the good Lord to double the amount of money he had in his pocket. If this was done, he would gladly leave $20 at the shrine to be used for charity. His prayer was answered, but after leaving the $20 he found, to his utter dismay, that he had less than when he made his request!

(By Don Theobald)
What's retirement for? Having the time to do what you wanted to do while you were working!

My wife and I found the Colorado Academy of Lifelong Learning 3 years ago and we've "been back" every term since!

During a lull in the storm which had tossed and rocked the sturdy little steamer "Dauntless," a shot rang out on "A" deck.
Professor Gorakski threw down the detective story he was trying somewhat unsuccessfully to read and hastened into the companionway where, as it turned at the far corner, he found Steward Munzer bending over the body of a man who had been instantly killed. Just then the heavens opened; lightning flashed and thunder boomed as if in ghoulish mockery.

Professor Gorakski flicked the dust from the "figure eight" bandage on the slim ankle of Mrs. Hirsh, who, as Lisa Listou, had gained international fame as a dancer in Europe. He observed the dainty pink slippers beside the couch, then began to unravel the bandage.
"Oh! Please, no!" gasped the beautiful dancer. "It hurts so much!" He found her slight accent charming.
"Very well. You say Dr. Barton was in the house when you sprained your ankle and that he bandaged it?"
"Yes, Professor."
"Were you carried here to the couch?" he queried.

I believe ETF's are the greatest advancement in personal investing of the past three decades.  Nevertheless, they are not without peril.  The attached article points out how hedge funds are currently using some of the more esoteric ETF's for some of their trading strategies.  The article also points out how the built-in tracking error (usually quite small) can increase greatly during periods of high volatility in thinly traded markets.  All this being said, I still believe that ETF's, used properly, offer the retired investor a considerable advantage of mutual funds.   

Here is a recent article regarding the use of the Solin portfolio (purportedly) by an 8-year-old in Colorado Springs.